they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
