If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
