He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
