one might say we're banned from that church
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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