how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
