new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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