I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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