One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
