Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
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