broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize