My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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