goodnight i made you a song goodbye
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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