there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize