if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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