I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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