Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
