You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Randomize
