You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Ketchup is God's man juice
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
