So drunk its hurt
Pants 0. Shit 1.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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