I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
My feet surprised me
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
