So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I think a kid would responsible me up
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
