My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
