I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Enjoy the penises
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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