so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
