well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize