So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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