I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
tell me about the fingering
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
