do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
