do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Randomize
