i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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