What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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