they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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