Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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