Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
