he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize