how can u be prego again
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You made out with two different species that night
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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