She's JV to your varsity
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
another moral hangover. fuck.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
