your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Small penises have feelings too.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
