Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
