so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
