You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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