you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
