I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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