I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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