we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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