He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
