He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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