My underwear smells like fireworks.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
The Olympian is in my bed
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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