my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
