Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
