The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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