Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
