We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
We got so high we made milksteak
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
