were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
