I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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