he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
