Your dad touched me again.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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