Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
im holly from the hills drunk
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
