She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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