Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
